The Beast of Babylon

  THE BEAST OF BABYLON

  Charlie Higson

  PUFFIN

  Contents

  About Charlie Higson

  Books by Charlie Higson

  THE BEAST OF BABYLON

  About Charlie Higson

  Charlie Higson started writing when he was ten years old, but it was a long time before he got paid for doing it. On leaving university he was the singer in a pop group (The Higsons) before giving it up to become a painter and decorator. It was around this time that he started writing for television on Saturday Night Live. He went on to create the hugely successful comedy series The Fast Show, in which he also appeared. Other TV work includes Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) and Swiss Toni.

  He is the author of the bestselling Young Bond books, and The Fallen is the fifth book in his current horror series, The Enemy.

  Charlie doesn’t do Facebook, but you can tweet him @monstroso.

  Books by Charlie Higson

  The Young Bond series:

  Silverfin

  Blood Fever

  Double Or Die

  Hurricane Gold

  By Royal Command

  Danger Society: Young Bond Dossier

  Silverfin: The Graphic Novel

  The Enemy series:

  The Enemy

  The Dead

  The Fear

  The Sacrifice

  The Fallen

  Monstroso (Pocket Money Puffins)

  1

  Ali was having a picnic with her family in the little water park on the edge of town when she first saw the Doctor. He was striding across the grass, glancing around, eyes a bit wild, as if he was searching for something. He looked like a typical man. Two arms, two legs. The usual. Short hair. Sticking-out ears and a big nose. Black leather boots. Black leather jacket. Men were like that, weren’t they? They got off on wearing the skin of dead animals. Always made Ali feel a bit funny. The idea of it.

  He was sort of grinning. Not really a happy grin, though. Slightly crazy.

  And he seemed to be in a hurry.

  He spotted Ali’s family and came over, eyes as wide as his grin, trying to look friendly and polite, and failing badly. He didn’t look like the normal sort of tourist they got round here, or a businessman on a trip, but he was definitely a traveller of some sort. Ali felt the familiar sour sting of jealousy she always felt around travellers. Wishing she could escape her boring little life. She wondered where this man was from. When he spoke, though, he didn’t have any trace of a foreign accent, and Ali was impressed.

  ‘You haven’t seen anything, have you?’

  ‘Seen what?’ Ali’s dad replied. She could tell he was a little freaked out by this man appearing out of nowhere. He hadn’t even said hello or anything, just blurted out his question. Definitely in a hurry.

  ‘Never mind. You’d know it if you’d seen it.’

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘Never mind. Forget it.’

  Ali’s dad struggled up and stood between the man and his family. Obviously thought there might be trouble.

  ‘I’m sorry to have bothered you,’ said the man. He looked at Ali’s family, saw her younger sister, and his expression changed. He was worried now. ‘It’s just …’

  ‘Just what?’ Ali’s dad was trying to sound tough and brave. Two things he wasn’t. He was a wimp really, wouldn’t hurt a fly, but this strange man wasn’t to know that.

  ‘Just … maybe …’ The man was struggling to say what he wanted. ‘Maybe you should finish your picnic and get back home. Quickly, quite quickly – like now.’

  ‘I don’t see why I should –’

  ‘Dad, it’s all right,’ Ali said. She was better at reading people than her father. She turned to the man. ‘Are we in some kind of danger?’

  ‘You could say that. You could also say, “Come on, let’s do as the man says and go home.”’ He looked around anxiously, scanning the trees on the edge of the park. When none of Ali’s family made a move, he sighed and carried on talking, fast and impatient.

  ‘I’ve been following someone, something, chasing them really, halfway across the universe, if you must know.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘A man, two men. Well, they’re the same man, except he’s not a man at all. That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to you. Look, I’d better go. I’m really sorry to have ruined your picnic; it looks lovely, but … well, a lot more than your picnic could be ruined.’ As he rattled on he had started picking up stuff and throwing food into Mum’s basket.

  ‘Just get away from here!’ he shouted when still none of Ali’s family moved. ‘Far away.’

  And then he stopped what he was doing, and cocked his head as if he’d heard something. ‘Oh, Castor and Pollux,’ he muttered, dropping a plate of boiled eggs. ‘Not good. That’s really not good at all.’

  And then he was gone. Running off across the grass.

  ‘Well, I mean …’ said Ali’s dad. ‘What was all that about?’

  Mum tutted and started tidying up.

  ‘I think we should do what he says,’ said Ali.

  ‘Why?’ said Dad. ‘He’s obviously nuts.’

  Just then there came a great shout that seemed to fill the sky.

  ‘Well, there’s that, for a start,’ said Ali, packing things away just like the man had done.

  And then there was another cry, almost a scream, and there, above the treetops, was something that Ali found hard to take in. A man, but a man taller than the tallest building in town, and next to him another man. ‘The same man,’ the stranger had said, and she saw what he’d meant. They were separate physically but somehow they were both the same living thing: identical, moving together, their faces showing the same blank expression.

  Ali froze as her mind tried to take this all in, too scared to move, gripped by a giant, cold claw. She had the overwhelming thought that she could never understand what a creature like this would be thinking, except that it wouldn’t care one iota about her and her family.

  And then she wondered if she was really seeing it at all.

  The two linked figures were very faint as if they weren’t even there, just made of cloud and smoke and swirling leaves. And there was the stranger, holding something shining in his hand. One of the giants had scooped him up and he was yelling something, and the giants bellowed and there was a flash and everything started swirling, so that instead of two giants there was a tornado, a whirlwind, a great dancing dust devil, and the stranger spun round and round, twisting up into the sky. Then there was a final huge shout and they all disappeared.

  This happened in less than three beats of Ali’s heart – seeing the thing, her feeling about the alien nature of its mind, the thinness of it, the stranger being lifted up, the twister – and it was gone.

  Then there was a great punch to her chest, the air was sucked out of her, her tubes popped and she felt suddenly sick. She moaned and closed her eyes. Her whole head was ringing and there was a bad, metallic taste in her mouth. She could hear her little sister crying.

  And then Dad’s voice.

  ‘Great gods … Great gods. What was that?’

  Ali felt something touch her. She opened her eyes. It had started to rain. Only it wasn’t rain. Tiny silver droplets were falling from the sky. They dissolved as soon as they touched the ground. All except one. A larger piece that sat there. A silver sphere. Perhaps the thing the stranger had been holding. She picked it up. It was much heavier than it looked and very cold to the touch. She put it into her carrying pouch quickly before Mum or Dad saw it.

  ‘We should get inside,’ she said. ‘Away from here, like he said, the man …’

  The Doctor. That’s what he was called. Although she didn’t yet know it.
<
br />   She also didn’t yet know that he wasn’t a man at all.

  2

  Ali wondered what had happened to the strange man, whether he had survived the fight, whether she would ever see him again, but it was only a few days later and the great wandering planet of LM-RVN had barely danced halfway across the sky when he came back into her life.

  She was on her way home from college at the end of a long and boring day and had stopped off at the lake to stare into its murky depths. It was starting to grow dark and the moons were casting silver splashes over the water. It looked insanely beautiful. She threw in a stone and wished it was the holidays and the water was warmer and it was safe to go for a swim – properly go for a swim. She only really felt alive when she was in the water.

  And then she saw his reflection, distorted by the ripples from the stone, but still unmistakably him. The Doctor. She felt a little stab of happiness. He was all right.

  ‘I want it back,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ she said without even turning round.

  ‘You know what.’

  ‘How can you be so sure I’ve got it?’ she said, feeling the sphere hanging heavy in her carrying pouch.

  ‘You know,’ said the Doctor, ‘when I first saw you I said to myself, here’s someone special.’

  Now Ali did turn. She’d thought the exact same thing about him. It was then that she noticed a large box of some sort standing in the tall weeds, half-hidden under the trees. It was blue, looked like it was made of wood and had foreign writing on it. Her mind started to turn.

  ‘This thing you’re looking for,’ she said. ‘What is it? Why should I give it back to you?’

  ‘I can’t tell you that. Let’s just say that the fate of a planet, an insignificant little planet, but a planet I’m rather fond of, is in your power. Besides, it’s not yours. I lost it in a fight.’

  ‘I saw that,’ said Ali. ‘It didn’t look like much of a fight to me, more a massacre, really. You weren’t exactly winning.’

  ‘I had a plan … It sort of worked.’

  ‘And the plan involved the thing you’re looking for? Which I’m not going to give to you until you tell me exactly what it is.’

  ‘Then I’ll have to make you, won’t I?’ The Doctor glared at Ali.

  Ali laughed. ‘Who are you fooling?’

  The Doctor shrugged and gave Ali one of his mad grins that was almost a snarl.

  ‘I may not know that much about men,’ said Ali. ‘But I can tell that you’re not, like, one of the violent ones.’

  The grin became a gurn. ‘You’re right. I’m not. I’m the Doctor, by the way.’

  ‘I’m Ali.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you, Ali.’

  ‘You’re a trickster, Doctor, not a warrior.’

  ‘Right again. And something tells me I can’t trick you.’

  ‘No. You can’t.’

  ‘So it’s stalemate.’

  ‘Let’s trade,’ said Ali, and the Doctor sat down on a rock, started taking off his shoes and socks.

  ‘OK,’ he said.

  ‘I’ve got the – what do you call it? Our little silver ball that weighs nearly as much as that boulder you’re sitting on.’

  ‘Let’s call it an orb.’

  ‘OK. I’ve got the orb,’ said Ali. ‘What can you offer me?’

  ‘What do you want?’

  ‘Information.’

  ‘Go on. I’ll answer any question you like.’ The Doctor was rolling up his trousers now. He obviously meant to go in the lake, but if it was only up to his knees it would be safe.

  ‘What was that thing?’ she asked. ‘That giant thing? Those two giant things?’

  The Doctor thought for a while. ‘He … It … is a Starman,’ he said at last. ‘A star-eater. He can travel through space and time, fuelled by the energy he drains from stars. He’s pretty much a star himself – in every sense of the word.’

  The Doctor got up and dipped his feet in the lake. He gave a little theatrical gasp at how cold it was.

  ‘And the orb is some kind of weapon,’ said Ali.

  ‘Well …’ The Doctor was intrigued. ‘What makes you say that?’

  ‘You were holding it. I saw a flash in the sky. Why else would you want it back so badly? And why couldn’t you tell me what it was? I’m thinking it’s because you’re not supposed to have it. It’s not yours … I think you stole it.’

  The Doctor had gone in up to his knees and the bottoms of his trousers were under water. He didn’t seem to notice. He was staring at Ali, his head tilted to one side. ‘You’re very clever, aren’t you, Ali?’ he said.

  ‘So I’m told.’

  ‘Where’s the orb?’ There was a harder edge to the Doctor’s voice. Playtime was over.

  Ali glanced up at the darkening sky, saw the moons receding, each one smaller and dimmer, thinking of all that was out there, in the infinite reaches of space. Then she looked at the blue wooden box under the trees and something clicked.

  ‘That’s a spaceship, isn’t it?’ she said.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Well, you’re a traveller, aren’t you?’

  ‘You could say that.’

  ‘I’d kill to travel,’ said Ali. ‘This planet, we get travellers from everywhere.’

  ‘It’s in a terminus galaxy,’ said the Doctor, coming out of the lake. ‘It’s a jumping-off point for a lot of places.’

  ‘Exactly. That’s why the Starman came here, isn’t it?’ said Ali. ‘He was on his way somewhere else, and you followed him here. You said so – halfway across the universe. So you must have got here somehow. And I don’t think you came on a Virgo craft, a slow, unreliable space bus, not if you were chasing something. So you must have your own ship.’

  ‘You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes, aren’t you?’

  ‘A Sherlock what?’

  ‘Never mind,’ said the Doctor, and he moved closer to Ali. ‘Just someone from that other planet I was telling you about. Now if you’re done showing off, can you give me the orb and I’ll be out of your life.’

  ‘You’re always in such a hurry, aren’t you?’ said Ali, backing away. ‘And you’re in a real big hurry to get away now, so you wouldn’t want to be far from your ship. And this wasn’t here before, and it’s very much not from round here, like you. So it stands to reason that this must be your ship. It doesn’t look nearly big enough to travel through space, though, so it must be some kind of an illusion, bigger than it looks. Or maybe it exists partly outside of space and time. That makes it bigger on the inside …’ Ali stopped, awestruck.

  ‘Oh my days,’ she said. ‘It’s a TARDIS. You’ve got a TARDIS.’

  ‘I really, really don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Yes you do.’ Ali walked over towards the box. ‘We learned about them in school, in science, you know – theoretically – that they could exist. I never believed they were real, though. I wanted to. I so wanted to. But I never did … until now. That is so cool.’

  ‘On the other hand,’ said the Doctor, and he folded his arms and leaned against the TARDIS, ‘it could just be a big blue box.’

  ‘And you must be a Time Lord,’ said Ali. ‘I mean, you fit the part perfectly. You look like a human but you’re not human, you’re pretty smug and you think you’re the carp’s whiskers –’

  ‘Is there anything you don’t know, Ali?’

  ‘Not really. We also learned about Time Lords at school. In history. Ancient history. We were told the Time Lords had all died out a long time ago. But here you are.’

  ‘Ali. Please.’ The Doctor had dropped on to his knees with his hands clasped together. ‘Time is running out.’

  ‘Take me with you,’ said Ali.

  ‘I can’t do that.’ The Doctor shook his head.

  ‘I’ll give you the orb if you take me with you.’

  ‘No, no, no. It’s way too dangerous where I’m going.’

  ‘Come on, Doctor, you’re g
oing to save your favourite planet. You’re going to rescue a whole race. What does my one life matter compared to all theirs …?’

  ‘Ali, you can’t ask this of me.’

  ‘Besides – you might need some help.’

  The Doctor stared at Ali for a very long time and then his wonky Time Lord face split into the maddest, wildest, strangest grin she’d seen yet.

  ‘I can’t get rid of you, can I?’ he said.

  3

  ‘The planet’s called Earth. Where humans first came from. Long way back.’

  ‘I’ve heard of it.’

  ‘That doesn’t surprise me, Little Miss A-Star.’

  The Doctor was busy at the controls of the TARDIS, his face lit by the glowing green column that rose and fell rhythmically like the beating heart of the ship. Ali was amazed at how quickly she’d got used to being in here after the first mind-bending experience of stepping through a door into another world. It all felt weirdly normal now. To tell the truth, some of the equipment looked decidedly primitive and old-fashioned compared to what she was used to. Not that she pretended to understand what everything did, but this was the relic of a civilisation that had died out a long time ago.

  The Doctor had darted about madly, throwing switches, twiddling dials, jabbing buttons as they’d set off, and now that they were under way he’d calmed down enough to tell her about how he’d come to turn up on Karkinos.

  ‘I’d been down on Earth trying to save the old place again,’ he went on. ‘And there was this thing, this creature, call it what you want … Actually it’s usually called a Nestene Consciousness. Just another bully, another demigod like the Starman, wanting to feed off the planet and drain it dry. Not nice. I was trying to find it and put a sock in it and I was helped by a girl – about your age, as it goes. A lot like you in many ways.’

  ‘What was her name?’ asked Ali, curious.

  ‘Rose. Rose Tyler,’ said the Doctor.

  ‘A human girl?’

  ‘Yeah. The only type they had on the planet back then. You see, in that corner of the universe space travel hadn’t really taken off just yet, so there were only native creatures on the planet and the humans were the only halfway sentient ones. Them and meerkats.’